


But Boyfriends Do

by snowhoe



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: :), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Baz crying, Enemies to Lovers, First Kiss, Fluff, Get Together, I’m sadly American so sorry, Kinda?, M/M, Oops, Penny being a good friend, Simon smiling, Time line? Whats that?, absentmindedly of course, also the drawbridge can fuck off, and the mage too, baz bein a arse, baz is sad, m gonna regret this, probably sometime in eighth year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-26 03:13:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20036971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowhoe/pseuds/snowhoe
Summary: Baz doesn’t really know when to stop talking, and sorta says the wrong thing. Simon sends Penny after him.—just ah? have fun, I should be sleeping





	But Boyfriends Do

**Penny**

“What are you doing here, Bunce?”

To be completely honest, Penny didn’t know what she was doing there, either. And by there, she meant standing three feet away from Baz. The same Baz who makes snarky remarks at her best friend, the same Baz who’s cocky grin will make you want to punch him in the face. The same Baz who, minutes ago, said one of the most inappropriate comments she’s ever heard come out of his mouth. 

Yet knowing all those things, she feels sympathy for him. Sitting with his back against a tree and head hanging between his knees, he almost looks soft. She wonders why he doesn’t let this side show more often. 

Closing the three feet gap, Penny walks cautiously towards Baz, and sits next to him. “Are you okay?”

Baz’s head snaps up. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Tears streaming down his face, his eyes betrayed him. Although, it was very dark out, and Baz wasn’t looking at her, Penny could see the puffiness in his eyes. He must’ve been crying since he ran away.

“Baz…” is all Penny could say. She didn’t really know where to start. They weren’t friends. Hell, they weren’t even friendly. She decided that physical comfort was the way to go, as the silence stretched on. Placing her hand on his knee, she stared at him. It was really a sight to behold. Baz being weak, that is. 

Penny supposed what started the impromptu feud between the boys was Baz refusing to take Simon’s hand that first night. She didn’t really blame him—Simon was a bit much, especially back then. But he really should’ve. It would have saved Penny’s ears from being worn out by a Baz filled obsession. 

What she did know, was that Baz messed up that night.  _ At least he knows that too _ , she reminded herself. What went down was, yet, another fight. This one just escalated too quickly. Simon said some things. Baz said some things. Simon said some more things that got Baz particularly heated, and led him to say  _ “Well at least my parents wanted me”. _

That left the room shocked. Simon just stared at him, mouth agape, and tried to say something. He failed, obviously. The one who was the most shocked seemed to be Baz. Everyone knew Baz hated Simon, but Everyone could also tell that he regretted saying it. So much so, that he ran out of the cafeteria. Well, more like fast-walked. But it bordered on being a run. 

Penny quickly jumped from her spot at the table to get to Simon. He just kind of...stood there. It took her two good shakes before he came back to his senses.  _ “Simon! Are you okay?”  _

He blinked. Then, again. Finally speaking up,  _ “Yeah. But I don’t think he is.” _

_ “You could go talk to him..?” _

He furrowed his brows. Shaking his head, he said,  _ “No. I can’t. That- what he said was- just no. Can you maybe go after him?” _

Penny not being able to say no to Simon, especially after  _ that, _ said yes. Apprehensively, but yes, nonetheless. After ten minutes of aimlessly looking, while trying to recall every conversation (well, one sided conversation) she’s had with Simon about Baz, she found him. In the Wavering Wood, shaking. 

She’s now had her hand on his for about twenty minutes letting him cry it out. It doesn’t take her long to connect the dots that he’s probably not only crying about his harsh words. Once he calms down, she decides to speak again, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Without looking at her (she swears he hasn’t looked at her this whole time), he just shrugs. Maybe he’s got too used to being around Simon.

“Look, I know we’re not friends. But we’re not enemies either. So, if you need to talk, I’m here.” It was barely audible, but you could still tell she was being sincere. 

“I’ve never told anyone before.”

Penny moved her hand from his and started rubbing his knee, when she mutters, “You don’t have to talk, Basil. I’m not making you.”

“I know, I know. But, I just,” his voice cracking. “I want to tell you. I want to tell someone.” She doesn’t say anything to that, hoping he’ll just keep opening up. To much anticipation, he does. “Simon is so bright...I’m afraid I’ll burn myself. So I hide in the shadows, protecting myself. While, simultaneously, freezing to death.”

She puts all the pieces together. It’s not that hard, and she can’t say she’s surprised. Penny wouldn’t tell him that, though. She just lets him carry on, “I’m—fuck. I'm in love with him. I can’t believe I was such an arse to him. Again.” 

She looks at him once more, and he looks back this time.  _ Afraid,  _ is the first word that comes to her mind. He looks so scared. She wants him to be happy, she wants him to get the boy. To get Simon. 

Wiping the tears off his face that just decided to start flowing again, she stands up. While walking out of the Wavering Wood she hears Baz (try to) scream at her. He doesn’t follow, though. 

She first checks the cafeteria, figuring it’s a bit late to be in there. But still, he’s Simon. If he isn’t eating than he’s snacking. He wasn’t there, thankfully. Penny didn’t want him eating his feelings away. The only other place he would be is his and Baz’ dorm. 

She makes her way up, and before knocking on the door she wonders what she’s actually doing. Does she really want to set Simon and his arch nemesis, who is also in love with him, up? She wants to see them both happy, and not at each other’s throats. Or, at least not in that way. 

She knocks. 

He answers. All he can give her is a simple nod before she’s dragging him out of the room. “Where- where are we going?” Dragging. More dragging. It would’ve been much easier if he didn’t throw a fit about it. Then, overriding Penny’s power, he stops dead in his tracks. “Are we going to see Baz?”

“No.” She keeps walking. They were obviously going to see Baz.

Penny has a lot of strength, more than Simon would like to admit. Once they’re at the entrance of the Wavering Wood she lets go of his arm. He will definitely have a bruise. “Go in. Find him.” Very confused, he starts to argue. 

That is, until Penny hushed him with her finger. “No. I don’t want to hear it. This has gone on long enough, and you two idiots need to figure it out by yourself. Not through me. I’ll be damned if I’m your messenger.”

Penny can see his wheels turning. The ones in his brain. He didn’t exactly move until another minute passed. “Okay.”

Grinning, she sent him off.

**Simon**

Simon didn’t know what to expect walking in, but he definitely didn’t expect a crying Baz. He followed the sniffles, which led him there. Simon tried to walk quietly, but that tactic ultimately failed. The crunch of a branch startled him almost as much as it did Baz. 

Baz’s head bolted up, which, you could tell, he immediately regretted. Looking back down, he cleared his voice, and said two simple words. “I’m sorry.”

Simon heard no scowl, he felt no smirk. Not even a hint of sarcasm layered beneath his words. That made Simon feel ecstatic—but a bit pained too. He looks so vulnerable from here. Like glass. 

He decided that he didn’t want to drop him. Not even test the waters and pretend to drop him; he was too afraid he would break. 

With that in mind he sat next to the boy. No one said anything for a bit. It was very awkward, they’d both agree, but it was comforting. Unlike Baz, it had to be broken. 

“Did you mean what you said?”

Baz looked Simon head on and said, “No.” That one word let Simon breathe. That one word made Baz grasp for air. “I don’t think I really mean most of the things I say to you.” 

That was said. Baz was done. He tilted his head back in wait for a response. Simon didn’t exactly know what his response was meant to be. What is Baz implying?

“I…” Simon trailed off. Baz dug the dirt from under his fingernails, eager. “I’m not sure what you mean.” 

Shaking his head, he relays, “I don’t know why I said that. Just forget it.” Placing his hands firm against the ground (his whole world is shaking, the world is not), he stands up. Before he can fully lift his hand off the ground, Simon grabs his wrist. 

“Baz, you’re not getting out of this.”

“I think I’m gonna throw up.”

“Is my face that horrifying?”

“Yes.” He didn’t mean it.

Baz looms over Simon in a really awkward stand/squat, which is really straining his muscles. (No it isn’t.) (Fucking football god.) Simon tugs him down, so he crashes into him. “Why were you crying?”

Simon knew he was way too close to Baz’s ear. He could feel the way Baz shivered at his, very calm, breathing. It made Simon want to do it again. He didn’t, though, because Baz jumped out of his lap, going back to his original spot against the tree.

“I wasn’t crying, Snow.” Simon sent a bored expression his way. Who did he think he was fooling?

“Oh, yeah, and I wasn’t contemplating stealing scones from the kitchen.” 

_ “Fuck. Off.” _

Simon does not fuck off. If you wanted to go with opposites, you could say he fucked on. “Talk to me, Baz.”

“Why?” Baz said, as he wiped tears from his eyes.

“I’m exhausted from fighting. And I can tell you are too.” Simon, practically begging, knocks Baz’s hand with his own. Not holding, barely even touching. Just skimming.

Baz won’t even face him now. “What else are we going to do? You hate me.” 

“You didn’t say that you hated me…” Simon remarked, a bit confused.

It amazes Baz that, lil dense Simon Snow, noticed that. “Because I don’t.”

Inhale. Exhale. 

“Oh.” He suddenly felt like he was on top of a cliff. Daring to peer over the edge, “Then  _ how  _ do you feel about me?”

Simple question, complicated answer. An answer Baz dreaded. He did want to tell Simon. He just didn’t want to know how he would react. 

Baz pinched his long, earl grey fingers over eyes. 

Simon stared at him. He didn’t exactly know what he was going to say, but he knew what he hoped he would. Simon, embarrassing so, wanted Baz to say that he wanted him. That he wanted something with him. Friends would be a lucky start. Something more than friends was the goal. 

It made Simons heart go into his mouth when he realized he wanted that. It was nearly right after the fight (with words, they were quite civil with their limbs this time), as he raced up to his room. Leaving no room for composure, he thanked every god, or spiritual being he knew, that Baz decided not to go back to the dorm. 

Simon sat on his bed for what felt like hours. He thought about everything in his life. His parents, or lack thereof, his friends, his breakup. The one thing that he couldn’t stop thinking about was his enemy. His “supposed to be good mate” or whatever it bloody meant when the crucible paired you together. He wanted to be good mates. Maybe even the animal kind of mate. No, he didn’t want to think about that.

He didn’t want to think about how soft Baz’s hair would be, or how toned he looked playing football, or how iridescent his eyes were in the moonlight. But, alas, he couldn’t stop. 

Even though he shot poisonous words at Simon, he seemed to be the one who got hurt. Somehow that made Simon wonder if he, maybe, wanted to stop this. And by  _ this _ he meant fighting. Simon wanted to stop fighting too. So much. He figured that he would find a time to tell him that. However, he didn’t mean as soon as possible. Penny.

Baz cleared his throat, strained, as if he didn’t want anyone to hear. The noise forced Simon back to reality. 

“Simon. Stop pretending we could ever be more than enemies.”

_ Simon. _ It was very stimulating. He wanted to hear it again, and probably again after that.  _ Not the time _ , he reminded himself. “I want to try.”

As Baz mindlessly gawked at Simon, Simon couldn’t help the flutter in his heart. He really just wanted to redo their first meeting, maybe then everything would be different. 

“Me too.” Both their pulses skyrocketed. Simon could feel his cheeks heat. He was always warm, but this, this was mind numbing. In a good way. All he wanted to do was reach out and touch Baz’s cheek to see if he, too, was as hot as hades. Well, he  _ was, _ just in the other way. It took a lot of self-control on Simons part not to touch. 

He swallowed. “Can we, uhm, be friends?” Friends. Simon mentally facepalmed himself. What he wanted to say was, “Can I kiss you?” But he didn’t. Instead he fucking friend zoned him. 

Simon could hear, smell, see, feel, maybe even  _ taste  _ the frown that fell upon Baz’s face. He wanted to kiss it away. What is Baz didn’t even want to be friends. That thought alone made Simon whimper. 

**Baz**

He doesn’t look at Simon. He, as stated before, feels like he’s going to throw up. Hating Simon Snow was easier than being his friend. Baz couldn’t imagine a life where he could ignore his feelings and be “friends”. He doesn’t want to be friends. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” It hurts, but it’s true. 

“Why not? I thought you didn’t want to fight.” Curious eyes dancing over Baz’s heartache.

“I don’t want to fight,” he pauses. “But I don’t think we should be friends, either.” It takes him a few moments to blink back tears.  _ Crowley _ , he thought, _ what is with all the crying? _ He wanted to laugh at himself. Somehow, Simon looking dumbfounded was enough laughter from the world. 

“What’s so bad about being my friend? Am I that intolerable?” He snapped.

Baz could feel his blood begin to boil, and when it did he said things he regretted, “What’s bad about it is that that’s all I am! Your friend.” 

He wished he could take it all back. He couldn’t. 

Simon looking shocked isn’t a new look, but this time it’s coated with something else.  _ Maybe, disgust,  _ Baz contemplated. 

With that thought he closed his eyes and braced for impact. He knew Simon would never feel the same. Up until now, Simon thought Baz hates him. Up until now, Simon did hate him. Yet, here they are, sitting in the middle of the Wavering Wood, talking about being friends (well, Simon is, Baz, not so much). Baz doesn’t want to get his heart broken by the one person who captured it all those years ago. It’s inevitable, but it was nice while it lasted. The sneaking glances, the whole “I hate you” facade, even pushing him down the stairs had a little enjoyment. (But he didn’t push him.) (It hurt his heart a bit.) (Not that he’d tell anyone that.)

He felt a weight on his hands. Opening his eyes, he peered down and saw that it was Simons. It was so warm. And soft. And intoxicating. This is why they could never be friends. They got drunk off each other.

It took him a second to notice that his hands were shaking. It took him an even longer second to look Simon in the eyes. He hoped he wasn’t messing with him. Baz prepared himself for someone to shout “April Fools!!!” at him. It was October. 

Simon was flushed. He was grinning wider than a bus, too, which made Baz giddy. He didn’t know why Simon was happy. Maybe it was the fact that he now had some dirt on him. (They were also sitting in dirt.) But that just guided his gaze down to their, now intertwined, fingers.  _ When did that happen?  _ Baz wonders. If Simon was playing a sick game then he won. Baz was fucking swooning.

“What- what are you-” 

And then  _ Simon _ kissed  _ Baz. _

It was a little awkward at first, but that didn’t take away from the passion behind it. There was so much of it too. Passion, that is. As soon as Simon tilted his head, and Baz followed, they melted into each other. Simon, grasping Baz’s tear stained cheeks. Then, Baz holding onto Simons hips, like if he didn’t, he could lose balance. It was all too much. 

Baz pulled away. Breathless, he asked, “What are you doing?” It was meant to be a bit more…snappy, but it didn’t quite turn out that way.

“Kissing you,” Simon says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world. Baz longed for it to be.

“You said you wanted to be friends. Friends don’t kiss.”

“But boyfriends do,” he said, tugging him into another kiss. This one was sweeter, and less frantic than the former kiss. Like a Disney version of a fairytale.

Baz pulled away again. He wanted to be boyfriends. “Simon, you don’t actually think we can be...you know. Do you even want to be…” 

“Yes. I quite fancy you and your tight arse.” Baz still doesn’t let up on his Perplexed and Embarrassed Death Glare. “I think I always have. Just didn’t realize it. What a shame too, could’ve been snogging. You’re a great kisser, you know that?”

Even though he hadn’t gotten the chance to feed, he knows that there’s a blush somewhere on his skin. “I want to be your boyfriend.”

Simons smile is like the plague. It spreads quickly. Soon enough, they’re both grinning like idiots against each other’s lips.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> so,,,yeah. I hope you liked it to some degree. also in regards of am I gonna go to sleep? no, I am not.


End file.
